Skip to main content

Miami Vice (2006)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Miami Vice. Feature film. (2007, 140 mins) IMDB

...a terrible movie despite the budget and talent...

D

uring the 5th minute I thought of shutting the DVD player off and say: "Forget this movie". That doesn't happen often and I probably should have.

The opening credits are so small with such poor contrast as to be unreadable. Is that what they wanted? Why bother putting up credits if no one can read them? How stupid.

The opening sequence is a bunch of big, fast boats racing across the water. It's meaningless and boring because it's done without any context. Who's in the boats? Why? We don't know so we don't care.

It gets worse. Shift to a packed nightclub with that pounding music and flashing lights. Who enjoys that type of scene? I hate those types of scenes, yet they persist.

This is followed by a meet and great. Drug sellers and drug buyers. The buyers are accused of being informants. Out come the big guns, .50 cal guns, whereupon the informants are literally shot to pieces. Who needs to see this? Why?

I'm into the 16th minute and I'm thinking of stopping it.

I know Miami Vice was a TV series but I couldn't tell you a thing about it except the obvious. It takes place in Mimi and it deals with cops, vice squad, chasing drug dealers.

That's what's happening in this film. There's nasty drug dealers, informants whose cover has been blown and our two heroes are called in to figure it out.

The film is about women with fake tits, guns and violence. Fast cars, fast boats. All without any purpose.

It's a lame film.

The very first image on the screen is white text on black saying this film has been edited from its original release. I thought it was one of the notices to say it'd been shrunk to full screen. This was a first. Realizing what was going on and seeing the running time over 140 minutes, my immediate thought was self-indulgent and now I say lazy. It takes work to fit a story into 120 mins. It's lazy to let it run long.

There seems to be every nationality involved in these drug deals except Canadians.

And what's with Colombians speaking English with each other. Ugh. It just doesn't happen.

Thankfully there was a fast-forward button and it worked. Sometimes certain DVDs don't allow the FF to work.

Posted 2009/05/09 at 21h12ET in Movie Commentary.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Piece of the Action (1977)

Saturday, March 7, 2009 A Piece of the Action. Feature film. (1977, 135 mins) IMDB ... Who would you have over for dinner? Sidney Poitier or Bill Cosby. ... A PIECE OF THE ACTION is the third film starring Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier. Poitier also directed the films. (And yes, I would be fascinating to have both them sitting around a table for dinner.) We're in Chicago and I love the setup for this film. It's clever, fun and interesting. It starts during the dark of night. Crosby is a cat burglar robbing a vault in a bank. He's by himself, all the tools he needs, and doesn't speak a word of dialogue for at least the first twenty minutes of the film. It must have been killing him. His robbery goes off successfully. (It includes a jump from a six or seven story window. There was a similar scene in their earlier films.) When the cops arrive during the daylight, they haven't a clue and we catch a glimpse of James Earl Jones as a detect...
Post a Comment
Read more

If Only We Could Agree

Monday, June 11, 2012 ... have you been accused of misspelling a word you know is correct ... S usanne O’Leary wrote an interesting article on her experience with the variations of the English language in different countries. You know the obvious ones like colour with or without a “u” but less obvious ones like travelled versus traveled. Growing up in Sweden she learnt English in school—the UK variation. In publishing her books, she read reviews where she was criticized for improper spelling. False accusations as it turns out. While I write tire and cozy, it’s not incorrect to write tyre or cosy. Same language. Both accepted. Just different. You can read her write-up here along with the numerous comments posted by readers. I found it interesting, but that’s me. As a Canadian I deal with this issue everyday. I feel her pain when she’s criticized for something based on ignorance. No fun. I was told by a boss that “data are” isn’t correct. It should be “data is.” Read...
2 comments
Read more

No Reservations (2007)

Saturday, May 2, 2009 No Reservations. Feature film. (2007, 104 mins) IMDB ... I so much wanted to like this film but couldn't ... T his film had two things I like a great deal: romance and cooking, but they didn't come together for me in this film. I think I know why. The female lead doesn't strike me as a romantic leading lady. That's just me. I also found the story line stale and uninteresting. Our hero lives in NYC working at a fine dining restaurant where she is the chef and dictator. Everything about her life is about cooking. Nothing else seems to matter. No children. No relationships. Then her life is kicked apart. Her sister and niece travel to visit her but before they arrive, there's an accident. The mother dies and little Zoe has to live with her aunt. Our hero struggles to include a new person into her life but what follows is so predictable as to be boring. To add even more complications to our hero's life, her sous...
Post a Comment
Read more