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Jurassic Park III (2001)

Jurassic Park III. Feature film. (2001, 92 mins) IMDB

...here's a sequel that didn't need to get made unless you were cashing cheques...

F

igure out a way to get Dr. Grant back on the island with all those dinosaurs for a third time. How? Pretend to be exceedingly rich with a taste for adventure trips and tell him you only want to fly over the island. He wouldn't go near the place if he didn't need money to continue his field research.

But once you're near the island land the plane so you can search for your missing son who is probably been processed through some dino's digestive track. Bring along a large cast so we can see them become dino snacks. Make sure the plane is cracked up beyond repair so they can't just fly out. Make sure the radio is kaput and the portable phones don't work.

Now they are stuck on the island with dinos chasing after them. A few die. Some are scrapped up. Teo Leoni spends half the film screaming and running.

Then as they make their way to the beach, have the marines land a company of men to rescue our heroes.

I think that about covers it.

Posted 2009/04/17 at 18h21ET in Movie Commentary.

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